You Already Did
by HoshiToTsuki
Summary: All life has done is wrong me. No matter what, Equivalent Exchange has not applied to my life. But there can be good in this life, too. Maybe I can heal, if someone were willing to help. RIZA X ED ONESHOT GIFT FIC


**A.N. Hi! This is my first FMA story… or at least the first one that I will FINISH!!! Pleas review, it is my first time writing this pairing, but I'll do my best. Flames will not be deleted, because I know that people flaming have no lives and all that they have to do is flame. **

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The alchemist's boot scuffed on the sidewalk. He walked with his hands jammed in the pockets of his black pants, his hair tied back out of his way in a braid. His face twisted in a grimace as his automail creaked after bending awkwardly on the cement.

"It hurts," he moaned in pain, his eyes saddening as thoughts of the life he once had rushed through his head. "Why did things have to turn out like this?" he whispered. Turning his face towards the sky, he saw that gray clouds were gathering above central.

"It's going to rain," a voice behind him commented. Spinning around, he frowned at seeing the person behind him.

"Oh, if it isn't 'The head up his Ass' Flame Alchemist," the boy groaned, kicking the ground.

"Nice to see you, too, FullMetal," was his reply. "Lovely weather we're having, no?" he joined Ed in walking up the street back towards headquarters.

"Sure, whatever," he huffed.

"What's got you down?" Roy attempted kindness to the troubled teen.

"Nothing. Just thinking, s' all," he looked up as he walked.

"Oh, how informative," the Flame Alchemist chuckled. They remained in silence for a few minutes as head quarters came into view.

As they neared the gates, Edward caught his superior's arm. The dark haired man turned to look back down at him.

"What's up?" he asked.

"Do you think that it's actually possible for Al and I to go back to normal?" he blurted out. "I mean… this whole Philosopher's Stone thing… it **is** real, right?" he continued, aiming his eyes at the ground.

Roy slowly removed Ed's tight grip from his sleeve as he chose his words carefully. "I believe," he began with care in choosing his words. "That you two will not be cheated in the end. I can't say for sure that there really is a Philosopher's Stone… but I know that you two have worked too hard for too long to go without reward in the end," he replied gravely.

And with that, the Colonel spun on his heal and strode up and through the doors of the H.Q. Ed stood sullenly outside for what seemed to him like hours… and eventually looked back up into the dark skies.

"I know that I screwed up," Ed whispered. "I know that I screwed up," he repeated, a couple tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

A drop of water fell from the sky and hit his cheek. "Why?" he whispered more to the sky than himself. "Why did this have to happen to me? Why did Mom die? What did I ever do to deserve this?" he screamed into the sky, his voice drowned out as lightening cracked across the sky and thunder rocked the Earth.

"What did I do to you? What was my mistake before Mom died?" he roared, tears streaming down his face. Suddenly he was surrounded in a downpour, and he could barely see through the rain.

"I know that by trying to bring Mom back I committed the ultimate sin! What was I supposed to do, though? I thought I could do it! I really did! We only wanted to see Mom's smile again… we only wanted to see her smile," his voice grew quieter as he spoke those words into the sky. He tilted his head back down and balled his fists tighter, biting his lip trying to stop the sobs from coming.

His hands flew to his face and he covered his eyes as he burst into sobs. "It's not my fault! Please forgive me! Forgive me… it's not my fault… Al shouldn't be punished… I made him do it," he sobbed, moving his hands and simply letting his tears fall to the ground with the rain.

"What am I supposed to do, now? What do you want from me?" he whispered, his sobs quieted, but his tears did not stop falling. "Mom, I thought… even if I couldn't bring you back… aren't you even watching over us?" he suddenly screamed into the sky.

"Don't you even care what happens to me? Do you care? You don't! Neither did Dad! I hate you! I hate you!" he screamed the words over and over. Each time he said that, his heart twisted, and he felt worse and worse.

Eventually he ceased crying, and instead wiped his nose. "How un-cool. I probably look like a wreck," he mumbled. Suddenly he was grabbed by a sneezing fit. "Great! Now I've got a cold, too!"

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"Brother! You're soaking wet! What happened?" Alphonse exclaimed, jumping up when his brother walked in the door, soaking the carpet.

"I got caught in the rain," he mumbled. "Don't worry about it," he said weakly.

"You need to be more careful," Al handed him a towel. "You'll get sick…." Ed dried his face and hair with the towel.

"Ed, your eyes are blood shot," Alphonse said. "And your face is tearstained. Have you been crying?" he asked, worriedly.

"No, of course not," he lied. "I'm going to take a shower," he said, entering the bathroom without another word.

"You're pushing yourself way to hard, big brother," Al sighed, turning away an reentering the living room.

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"You look kinda down today, Edward," Riza commented, tapping his elbow. "Something bugging you?" she inquired.

"Not really," he shook his head. "I just outgrew my automail again," he lied quickly. It was the first thing that he could think of.

"You big liar. You went to see Winry two weeks ago," Riza crossed her arms, unsatisfied.

"What do you want from me?" he asked, sitting down on the couch to wait for Roy to come for his daily report.

"Come to think of it, though, you did grow a bit. You might one day be larger than an ant," she said playfully, turning away from him. That would tick him off. He was so much easier to question when he was angry, he acted irrationally.

"Who you callin' a shrimp that you could eat with cocktail sauce?" Ed demanded, a stress mark appearing on his forehead.

"What are you upset about this morning?" she asked quickly.

"Mom is dead and life sucks!" he replied quickly, then clamped his hands over his mouth. Riza sighed.

"Well, now that I already know the main problem, why not tell me some more?" she asked. At his look of defiance, she added: "Who am I going to tell, anyway? You can trust me, Ed," she sat down next to him. He seemed to inwardly ponder his choices, and finally came to a decision.

"I dunno," he gave in with a sigh. "It's just that… after Dad died, Mom always seemed so sad. Al and I hated seeing our cheerful Mom like that, so we decided to learn alchemy to bring her smile back. She got happier and happier as we got better and better. But then, we found out she was sick, and she died.

"I can still remember holding her hand… and feeling her grip loosen… and then, just like that, she was gone," Edward bit his tongue to keep from crying as the memory came rushing back. "My brother and I tried to bring her back… and it resulted in Alphonse loosing his body, and I lost my leg. I had to trade my arm to get his soul back," he whispered.

"Ed," Riza patted his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I don't know what to say," she shook her head in apology. "I didn't know that you were still thinking about this so much. You've seemed much happier in theast couple of months."

"It's alright," he said. They sat in an awkward silence for a few moments, letting the words sink in.

"It just seems to me like," he suddenly said. Riza looked up quickly to listen. "No matter how hard we try, Al and I only get the raw end of the stick. Equivalent exchange, my ass. I don't even know what to believe, anymore," Edward frowned down at his lap.

Riza felt a sudden surge of emotion for the man. He'd been through a lot, more than most people double his age.

"What if I told you that I loved you?" Riza blurted out. Ed looked up, alarmed. His eyes met her serious, determined glare.

"I'd think you were insane to love someone like me," he replied sadly.

"What if I said that nothing you did or said would stop me?" she asked.

"Stop you from what?" he asked, completely alert, now. This was not like Riza, at all.

"From falling in love with you," she replied, her cheeks tinting pink. Ed blushed, and looked away, but then turned back quickly.

"I guess that I'd do this," he said, quickly pulling the woman into his arms, loving the feel of her warm body against his.

"And then," she urged him on, wrapping her arms around his neck and feeling the three plated braid that ran from his head.

"I guess that I'd say I loved you, too," he responded.

"And would you mean it?" she asked, hopeful.

"I would mean it with every fiber in my body," he whispered into her shoulder. He felt her shiver, and kissed her cheek.

"But I guess that that would all be in scenario," she frowned, disappointed, realizing what he must be thinking. This was only a 'what if' situation to him.

"It doesn't have to be," he pulled back slightly and touched his forehead against hers. "I'm kind of hoping for it to become a reality." He raised an eyebrow at her. Hawkeye giggled at his expression, and that was when he made his move.

He kissed that smile, and she suddenly opened her eyes wide. Grinning, the lieutenant kissed him back.

After a moment, it was her who pulled back.

"What would you make of that?" she asked, still hugging him. He held her back tightly, she felt the hard metal of his right arm press against her back, and remembered the sadness he must be feeling every day.

"_We_ can make it anything we want," he replied. "_I _prefer love, myself."

"I want to help you heal," she whispered. "And I want to love you… I do love you."

"I think that you've already helped a little," he reassured her. "Thank you, Riza."

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**Woohoo! It's almost midnight, but I'm done! How was it? Too fast moving? Boring? Good? Horrid? Cute fluff scene? I like fluff, it's so fluffy. I know that they were sort of OOC, but w/e. This was a gift fic for** DeathLife. **It was my first gift fic, so please go easy, people! DeathLife, if this is not the style you were expecting, please write to me and let me know. I will write an entirely new story for you. **


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